"Smashed - Story of a Drunken Girlhood" By Koren Zailckas

  Last weekend, desperate for something to read after finishing "The Road," the family and I headed for our favorite, local bookstore, "Bent Pages." (Need a good read? Head over to 391 Van Duzer Street, Staten Island, NY, 10304 - The owners K.T. and Robin are just awesome and extremely helpful.)
  After poking around I found, "Smashed - Story of a Drunken Girlhood" By Koren Zailckas in paperback. The back seemed interesting enough. Koren starts drinking at the age of fourteen with her best friend and as she gets older her drinking becomes more destructive.
  I both love and really dislike this book all at once. Koren's writing style is lyrical. It borders on the beauty of poetry inspired by a first love. At times, when writing about drinking, it sounds as though she is writing about a lover. She repeatedly admits she prefers "booze to boys."
"I am aware that the fourteen-year-old girl I tutor in English is a head taller than I am; and while I craft arguments that burn my cheeks because I never spit them out, she extends her opinions even when they aren't complete. I am aware that somewhere along the line, I've subconsciously turned down the pitch of my speech, like a silencer of a gun that softens the sounds of its firing. Now, even when I yell, I don't feel like I am using my full voice."
  How great is that? Anyone who is self conscious knows that feeling so well, and to see it on paper is this amazing sight.
"The boldness that Bud Light sends rolling back to me is just what I've been missing the past few days. When I talk to Tess, thoughts diffuse through me without any of the hesitation that so often trips me up. I speak without rehearsing the words in my head beforehand, and she listens, clapping her hands and agreeing with her whole heart. When I laugh, the hum of my own happiness is astonishing."
  Had I not known Koren wrote poetry this type of writing would have been a knowing nod. That is one of the reasons I loved this book. It was well written, had pop culture references that were spot on and at times she was surprisingly funny.
  What I couldn't stand about the book was the fact that she was getting a $33,000+ education, (not counting books, car insurance, dorm/housing, etc), and she hardly remembers it. Yes, I understand this is my own issue, but it still pisses me off. (It's my issue, but it's my blog, so...nah, nah.) I worked three freakin' jobs to pay for my community college education, (not a dig at community college, but at my lack o' funds), and barely had a chance to enjoy my classes because I was always running to work.
  Yet, here is Koren and scores of other students drinking and getting wasted, without a mention of having to work a job, because presumably no one has to work. Is this why they don't think twice about pissing away a primo education for which I would have given my eye teeth? Does this lack of work ethic explain why in a book consisting of 343 pages, there is almost no mention of classes. (Come to think of it, I don't think there is any mention of classes period,)
  Does this stem from the fact that so many parents like Koren's rather turn a blind eye than notice that their child is not perfect, let alone having issues. For Pete's sake, Koren had her stomach pumped, and later, when she was drinking again, her parents thought nothing of it. Their answer always seemed to be that they knew she was drinking and as long as she did it responsibly ...
  After a while, reading about all the parties and drunkness, it got a little old, much like how the random hook ups in "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell," did.
  Is this what happens when you don't have to work, are given seemingly little to no rules or responsibilities? Koren herself says it the best when she writes,
"Tomorrow, I won't remember much about this bar, which is the first I've ever been in. I will remember only how it felt to be someone's little sister, how good it felt to be relieved of the terrible burden of good judgement. I am relieved, for that matter, of the ability to make choices at all."

  Is it puella aeterna? (The female version of the Peter Pan Syndrome.) I won't have to grown up if I keep shirking responsibility and getting shit faced?
  Towards the end of the book, Koren makes some great points about how today's advertising "alternates between pandering to women and using us to bait men." In a way she's right, but it turns me off how she goes off on the liquor companies for selling liquor, for the government for not allocating money to stop young people from drinking, etc. Though these things have truth to them, there comes a time for personal responsibility. No one forced her to drink. It doesn't run in her family, so she is not prone to it. She liked how it made her feel; brave, less self conscious, more willing to talk. Now she's angry? Yet, she refuses to admit she is an alcoholic. (She feels she abuses alcohol but isn't addicted. Sounds like everyone who has ever been to rehab.)
  The book has been picked up for a movie option. It'll be interesting to see how it pans out. Will it serve as a warning to young people about drinking? Will it help others reminisce about college drunkness? Will it be a blockbuster, a train wreck or just a blip on the screen? One will have to wait to find out.
  If you would like my copy of "Smashed," please feel free to contact me.  Simply pay book rate shipping, (about $2.25) and it's yours.  If you have an APO/military address, it is free shipping as well.